Dear November

Life is short. Play in the leaves...

Oh November,
how you swung me off to bed,
swirled me softly
like a furled leaf falling,
then tossed me to the quilt & said,
"Dance with me
until it's too dark to see.
Grow old, red and gold with me,
in a sea of leaves,
up to our knees,
and I'll give you Winter
to rest your head."

Take Heart

Take heart,
little corner of the world,
tiny window in the night.
Save your dreams
beneath your pillow
and your faith
in a heart small and bright.

::

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

- Jesus,  John 16:33

The Psalm of Our Hearts

Do you remember someone singing to you when you were small? I am so blessed with memories of my mother singing me to sleep at night. I still know the lullabies she sang to me. Does your heart know its Psalmist? Does it know the love that is its eternal fortress? King David knew the sweet songs of his father in the solitude of grazing pastures. This life is fading away, but I believe what the writers and singers of the Psalms believed, what poets like Henry Wadsworth Longfellow believed. There is a love, a song, that endures the passing of life, and a father who never forgets his little ones.

I originally began writing this poem for my daughter when she started growing out of my lap, but I soon realized it was more a poem about me, and all of us, growing out of the lap of God.

When You Were Small

When you were small,
when your whole belly fit inside my palm,
when your home was in my lap,
and my arms were your refuge,
and your little crown of curls
fit perfectly beneath my chin,
oh child dearly loved,
I knew no garden,
no kingdom,
no embrace
could keep you in.
So I had to let you go
and go you did.
But just return to me,
call for me,
and I will hear.
I’ll reach for you,
I’ll die for you,
I’ll make the world disappear.
Fall into my arms
even as you die,
and know my love,
everlasting,
like your first lullaby.

::

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble. 

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 

though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.

...The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress. 

- Psalm 46:1-3,7

...I have you fast in my fortress,
And will not let you depart,
But put you down into the dungeon
In the round-tower of my heart.

And there will I keep you forever,
Yes, forever and a day,
Till the walls shall crumble to ruin,
And moulder in dust away!

- The Children's Hour, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

My Hand Upon My Mouth

If you're at all like me, you have a wavering self-image that sways from one extreme to another, depending on your circumstance and surroundings. One day you're unique and special to the point of egotism, and another day, shaken to reality to the point of believing you're no more than a speck on the map, a brick in the wall. We just can't see clearly. We can't see ourselves within the scope of the whole world, let alone God's universe. 

I love that as we waver, as we float in and out of the picture, one man stands there, the same, yesterday, today, and tomorrow. And not only is he standing there, but he made everything on which you stand, on which you place all your trust. If you doubt it, just ask him.

Or read the book of Job. Wow. I'm thankful for our pastor's message on Job yesterday. Like he said, it's like jumping into the deep end of the Bible. But I can't wait for Psalms. I think that book is going to feel like God's strong right arm pulling me out of the deep water. As it should, right?
You can listen to what my pastor, Tim Theule, had to say about it here.

My own words are here about what God had to say to Job. The words were heavy on my heart. And the irony of it isn't lost on me.

My Hand Upon My Mouth 

Let me place my hand upon my mouth
like a little stone upon my grave
and let it read
no thing about me
but only the life that you gave.

Let me place my hand in your hand
like the little child you dearly love
and let me say
nothing, and stay
in the presence of my dear Lord.

::

“Behold, I am insignificant; what can I reply to You?
I lay my hand on my mouth.
“Once I have spoken, and I will not answer;
Even twice, and I will add nothing more.”

- Job 40:4-5

Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

- Psalm 23:6 

Untangle Me

In your life, do you ever feel like you're trying to untie a knot? My favorite is the tiny knot on the chain of a necklace. It requires an amazing amount of focus and patience, and I always consider just leaving it... But something in me usually perseveres and I find a line that seems to pull free and start the whole thing unraveling. This week, I felt like I was that little knot and God was my patient and persevering savior - patiently undoing my tangled mess of thoughts, tasks, and worries. Thank you, my Rescuer...

Untangle me,
pull my loops that undo,
find some straight line in me,
unwind it,
unbind me,
pull me through.
Then lay me down,
drape me around,
your strong neck,
and hang me true.

::

The Lord is close to all who call on him,
    yes, to all who call on him in truth. 
He grants the desires of those who fear him;
    he hears their cries for help and rescues them.
 
- Psalm 145:18-19

The Long Lost Love

I wanted to make a list of all the lost things,
a catalog of details, dedications, and perfect leaves.
The bees humming, blankets rustling, feathers ruffling in the trees,
the shadows, shape, and silhouette,
warm hands, soft laughs, and ways we forget,
the days that danced before they laid down to rest.

Oh, but what will become of your precious gaze?
I'll do my best to hold it with the words I can save,
but, oh my dear, you will die upon this page.
Your eyes of amber that so captured me,
the depth of your heart and the strength of its beat
leave only a ghost print - still, grey, and weak.

So please, let me take you and keep you,
let me paint you brightly upon my heart,
let your arms burn around me like the first day,
before the last day draws them apart.

Let me love you like my long lost love,
who vanishes on the voyage at sea,
all the while keeping lit within my breast
the love that first drew you to me.

Quiet Please

Do you know the still small voice of your God? Have you taken the time to just think about him, talk to him? Life in this world will clutter us and drown us in to-do lists if we don't sweep off a space for what's eternally real and true. Now don't just listen to any voice, especially your own. The steady eternal truth comes out of written words that have not wavered for thousands of years. You were born with a word, with a command of life. Find your way back to the one who spoke it.

I used to have afternoons,
hours of thoughts like pages strewn,
long and quiet talks - with you.  
Now it seems I only pass these rooms,
layering the hallway with a longing tune,
"I'm coming, I'm coming," but Lord, you are, too.  
Oh come - and stop me in these tracks,
show me the quiet and narrow way back,

along the pages you first spoke through.


I found this scripture below about Elijah the prophet, who heard God's voice. I like how in the midst of fear and chaos and exhaustion, Elijah heard God's quiet whisper while hiding away in a secluded cave. God spoke to him, gave him direction, and told him to go back to the work He had for him. Read the whole story if you can. There's a lot more to it. It's amazing.

When Elijah heard the quiet voice, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave, and stood there. A quiet voice asked, “So Elijah, now tell me, what are you doing here?” Elijah said it again, “I’ve been working my heart out for God, the God-of-the-Angel-Armies, because the people of Israel have abandoned your covenant, destroyed your places of worship, and murdered your prophets. I’m the only one left, and now they’re trying to kill me.”
God said, “Go back the way you came through the desert to Damascus. 

- 1 Kings 19:13-14  The Message Bible